Weigh The FAQS

Thanks to all you readers, I get a weekly column! Haha. It seems Jane couldn’t resist giving me my own soapbox… she probably just gets tired of me in person!

Okay, so the title may look strange. How exactly does one live like a hunter gatherer? There’s a lot to it, but it’s actually a pretty simple, straightforward concept. I’ve long felt an affinity with the natural world. Being out in nature, eating food we’ve grown in our own garden, exerting myself physically - these things have always felt right. Whenever I ride my bike to work instead of drive, I seem to have a better day. Don’t get me wrong, cause I love the creature comforts afforded by the modern world - I’m typing this on a laptop, aren’t I? - but I’ve come to realize the importance of getting away from time to time, or at least of using technology in concert with “natural living.” Thus, this post.

First, I’ll discuss diet.

I realize that “hunter gatherer” is a potentially problematic, blanket term. Am I referring to Paleolithic people from Europe, Amazonian hunter gatherers, or Easter Islanders? Vastly different situations, food sources, terrain, animal species. But there is a common thread that seems to link all Paleolithic people: diet.

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Greg and I went out to dinner last night with some old friends of ours from college. It was great evening all around; great food, great wine, great conversation. Everything was going swimmingly until the subject of healthy eating habits came up. As you well know, I pride myself on my healthy eating habits, which I’ve worked very hard to maintain in recent years. However, even my extensive knowledge of smart food choices wasn’t enough to silence the speeches that poured from our friends’ mouths the moment we began snacking on the prosciutto appetizer.

You see, our friends have recently become vegetarians. And not only are they newly converted, they have become that particularly righteous type of vegetarian that look down on all omnivores for relishing the taste of a bloody steak. Because, you know, omnivores are evil and unhealthy and drink the blood of puppies every full moon. What had been a jovial night out on the town quickly devolved into a trying lecture about the benefits of vegetarianism, of which there are supposedly many, including slenderness, increased energy, better circulation and overall improvement in constitution.

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I knew regular soda was bad for me. (Of course, no surprise there, right?) But I didn’t know diet soda was bad for me. Sure, I knew it wasn’t good for me. Not like it has any vitamins, minerals, fiber, protein or anything else remotely nutritious in it at all - but at least it didn’t have sugar or calories, right?

Well, it turns out that scientists doing an expansive survey of people’s dietary habits and health have found that drinking one (just one!) can of diet soda a day leads to a 34 percent higher risk for metabolic syndrome… 34 PERCENT, PEOPLE!!! Even red meat and fried foods only increase your risks by a measly 18 percent in comparison. And metabolic syndrome is no small thing; it can lead to obesity, high cholesterol and high blood pressure, all of which contribute to cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

The jury’s still out on the causes, whether it’s some particular chemical in diet soda or something else in every diet soda drinker’s diet. Meanwhile, other studies have shown - and unfortunately, I can vouch for this personally - artificial sweeteners increase a person’s cravings for sweets and thus their tendency to overeat. Been there a few times.

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Okay, let’s get this straight: Watching what you eat? Good. Becoming OCD about everything that you put in your mouth, restricting yourself to only “healthy” foods, suffering from malnutrition and dying in the process? Bad.

Even though I’d never heard of orthorexia nervosa until I came across an article about it earlier today, it didn’t surprise me at all. As they say, the road to hell is paved with crash diets and eating disorders. Orthorexia nervosa differs from anorexia and bullemia in that its victims aren’t obsessed with the amount of food they eat, rather they’re obsessed with the types of food they eat. As anyone with a passing familiarity with nutrition (anyone who’s ever read this blog) knows that we get nutrition from a variety of foods. That means a healthy diet is a diverse diet. Yes, we need to watch the sodium, fat, carbs and all the rest of it, but we also need a some of all those things to survive. A completely, 100% sodium-free diet would kill us, same with completely fat-free, and so on.

Dr. Bratman who first diagnosed this condition has a hilarious test for anyone who thinks they might suffer from it with questions like “Do you spend more than 3 hours a day thinking about your diet?” and “Do you plan your meals several days ahead?” Frankly, if you even have any suspicion that you might suffer from orthorexia nervosa, that’s probably is the best sign that you already have it. In which case, eat a dark chocolate bar RIGHT NOW; it’s good for the heart.

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